Before the Task

         I remember the first time I ever saw my husband. I was just coming home with my best friend and he was sitting on my couch with my big brother. I gave him a quick side glance and told myself no. When I first heard that he was coming to do a summer internship at our church, I was resolved not to date a guy who went to Wesley College. These guys always seemed to date sisters and it always ended in broken hearts (haha). Years later, I realize they aren't so bad after all. Many of these guys are now our close friends. 

        What won me was how incredibly easy it was for me to talk to him. I was struck by how completely honest he was. He saw things as they were and was not afraid to say it. I loved this, but it also made me nervous (haha). He was confident, clever, he knew what he wanted, and if you talked with him long enough you would realize that he genuinely loved people and worked hard to be a loyal friend. I feel like he really saw me that summer. He wasn't afraid to ask questions. 

In the end, I fell for a Wesley College guy in my own kitchen ...how could I have been so reckless (haha)!!

        In our three years of marriage I am learning new things about him that I love. I am amazed at his humble heart and the fact that he is teachable. He challenges me here, because I am the kind of the person that wants to be good at something the first try. But he doesn't mind to learn, in fact he welcomes it, and most people don't know this about him when they first meet him. Mike is also genuinely happy most days. I know this may be a hilarious point to bring up, but all I know is that we have fun, and we laugh, and we move on when we fight, mostly because he is positive. Even though my emo/ deep thinking/ the world's gonna end side gets frustrated I am so grateful for his attitude. It changes the tone in our house. 

          As we have pursued church planting, we are beginning to see new things come to the surface. I have had the privilege of seeing a more vulnerable side of Mike in the past few months. There are a lot of decisions to make, a lot questions people are asking, and a lot of answers we just don't have. Sometimes we feel like we are 'making it up as we go along' (to quote the infamous Indiana Jones). We are learning that a good bowl of cereal is as good a dinner as any. That sometimes jobs don't just happen. We are learning what church really is, and Who the church belongs to. I'll be the first to say that church planting has already put us to the test in many ways already. But one thing that I admire most about Mike in this season of our lives is his vulnerable and resilient bravery. It takes a brave person to resist making decisions based on fear and deadlines. It takes a brave person to take his eyes off the task and put them on Christ (someone who is invisible, and sometimes really quiet). It takes a brave person to not turn to a plan B at the edge of the unknown. It takes a brave person to say that it is ok if they don't know, if they don't get the credit, if they don't have the answers all the time. It is this quality that makes me confident that I would follow Mike anywhere. 

I say all this not to just brag on Mike (even though I am totally ok with doing that), but to remind myself that I loved Mike before all that we had to do. 

Before the sermons, before the outreaches, before moving to Texas, before planting a church. 
I fell in love with just him. I don't love him more because he has titles or experience. These things just bring out what God was already putting inside of Him. My love grows the more time we have together. 

I loved Mike before the task, and this makes me sure that I will love him after. 

 'The Office.'  

Lancaster Avenue

There is a street near downtown Fort Worth called Lancaster Avenue. Most everybody in Fort Worth knows about this particular street. In one area the street is lined with homeless shelters and resource centers. When Mike and I first moved to Fort Worth we drove through this area and were overwhelmed with the amount of people we saw huddled at the doors of these shelters with all their belongings stuffed in black garbage bags. This overwhelmed feeling, turned to burden, that eventually turned into action. 

A couple in our launch team connected us with a woman named Marcia who has been serving in this area for many years now. She usually takes young people out to hand out pizza and tube socks to anyone who will take them. She also makes a point to have real conversations with these people about what is important to them. She is enthralling to watch. She asks them questions, holds their hands, prays for them, understands them. She gives those without homes dignity and points them to Christ. She says, "They are just people who are down on their luck...just people like us." 

One of my biggest fears in ministry is the inability to relate. I fear this more than speaking or even leading. Sometimes those in need have tragic stories and overwhelming experiences that they cope with every day. Sometimes those in need live in the cold and only think about survival. Sometimes those in need had no choice within their circumstances. They were betrayed, abandoned, broken, and forgotten. So when a person says, "What right have you to tell me anything. You don't know what I've been through." I would have to say, "You're right. I don't know." Conversation over. How effective was that... This is the ultimate call out...This is scary to me. 

I have to be honest and say that sometimes this fear has caused me to close my eyes and turn the other way. But this is the greatest tragedy of all. 

I am coming to understand that feeling like I can't relate to those in need is not a good enough excuse. 



It. Is. Not. Good. Enough. This excuse is for those who choose to be blind. 

I am coming to understand that all people relate because they are people. It is the circumstances and the experiences that may not be the same. I could have ended up under a bridge, or waiting to get into a shelter just like the next guy. We are people, we make decisions, we make mistakes, and things just happen. We are all in need.   

I was praying about this insecurity this past week and was convicted when I felt the Lord ask me this question: What would have happened to us if God would have said, "I don't think I will pursue humanity because I just don't really relate to them." 

God loved then pursued. 

For God so loved the world that He gave...

This brings great hope and freedom for those who feel locked in insecurity. 

We have the freedom to believe we aren't better than anyone. 

This means that if you love Christ, if you are burdened for those in need, if you love others, if you feel the call....this is all you need. 

This past Sunday Marcia took our launch team out to pass out pizza and care packages we had assembled earlier in the month. We followed her under bridges, up and down Lancaster, and into some of their homeless camps. It was pouring rain and freezing and exhilarating and real and we were happy. We were changing, we were relevant, we were like Jesus. 

We are loved. We love. We pursue. 

Little Kid Dog

This is Charlie. He is about 4 months old and has been an interesting addition to our little home. Mike and I found him on Craigslist this past January. I will never forget taking him home for the first time. He was a tiny fur ball that didn't make a sound and I was in love. He sat really still in my lap all the way home.... and Oh how this has changed...

Charlie is a miniature Australian shepherd. This breed is really smart and active. He is so attentive and I swear he understands what I am saying 99% of the time. He loves Mike and follows him around the house. He is also a herder dog. When we walk him he tries to heard all the runners that pass by. 

Charlie's accomplishments:

1. He knows how to sit

2. He knows how to come

3. He knows how to swim

 (We didn't know this until he jumped out of our kayak into the middle of a lake!)

4. He almost knows where to go to the bathroom

5. He has all his bottom teeth

This little kid dog has brought a lot of joy to our day to day. He has also caused us to learn the art of extreme patience at times. We love him, sweet Charlie. 

Inspiring Makers

I entered into a valentines loop giveaway last night on Instagram and came across a treasure trove of inspiring makers. I wanted to share my finds. Check them out! 

1. @wearableplanter 

Colleen Jordan designs beautiful planter necklaces and seed bombs. 

www.wearableplanter.com 

2. @anvilcreekco

This is a company based out of New South Wales. They create all natural soy wax candles

www.etsy.com/au/shop/AnvilCreekCo

3. @hello.halsted

Stephanie Jones creates unique titanium post earrings out of Chicago.

www.hellohalsted.etsy.com