Christ. Beat. Fear

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Fear has always gone straight to my stomach. I feel it and look immediately for any exit doors available. The bathroom...the back door...the car (with keys). I have always been a pretty quiet person, I like quiet safe places. I like whites, blues, clean smells, cool spaces. I like my British movies (Downton Abbey), mashed potatoes and my softest socks. I like my closest people around me and planned days with details like when, what, who, why...etc. 

Does this sound crazy? Would I completely annoy you? Maybe...

I like safe, and hate fear. Fear makes me mad. Fear can take things from me. It can take my experiences, my sight, my blessings, my lessons. 

But Christ beat fear.

 I think he beat it that night on the Mount of Olives before He was crucified.

 "He withdrew from them about a stone's throw away (He was near his closest friends), knelt down, and began to pray. 'Father, if You are willing, take this cup away from Me- nevertheless, not My will, but Yours, be done.' 

Sometimes I wonder if Jesus felt it in his stomach the same way that I do. I wonder how long it took him to say ..."nevertheless, not my will, but Yours, be done." But he prayed and valiantly held onto a cause, a promise, a reason, a power that undermines the grip of fear of every time. I think it was in this moment Christ beat fear with His courage. Jesus believed that closeness with humanity was far more important than the events that he would experience in the next few hours... and I think He knew exactly what would happen in these next few hours. 

Could I be as selfish as to ask if I crossed His mind in this moment? Did He know that His triumph in a quiet garden would give me the strength to do scary things in this life?  Did he do this with my freedom in mind? 

All I can say is that my beautiful Savior is boldly and unselfishly courageous.

The past few weeks I have had some interesting encounters with fear. It has crept up beside me in unexpected moments. My husband and I just moved from Georgia (my home) to Texas to plant a church. I feel the stir, the call, the pull to accomplish what God has asked us to do, but sometimes I also feel the apprehension, the fear, and the smallness that comes with something so bigger than me and so new. But I am reminded tonight that Christ has gone before me in this. I know that He knows about fear and that He pushed through for something more important...for me and for you. 

The honest truth is that I will most likely feel fear every now and again. Like when I drive on these enormous Texas highways, when I open up my heart and my home to strangers, when I interview for a completely new job, when my husband and I work to create the foundation of a church that doesn't exist yet, or even when I stay in our apartment alone while Mike is away. I will probably turn for those exit doors and consider excuses to get out of things. But what I do know is that if Christ beat fear for a worthy cause, I can do the same. Because of Him, I have the freedom to pursue what is most important without being paralyzed by fear. 

And for this I am truly grateful.

This beautiful graphic is by Jenny of French Press Mornings. Check her out at http://frenchpressmornings.com/2014/10/encouraging-wednesdays-deuteronomy-316/.

Lipscomb Street

Five and a half weeks ago my husband (Mike) and I moved from a small town in Georgia to the great state of Texas. Let me describe the past few weeks: 

cardboard boxes

fast food

heavy lifting

a constant messy bun

tired tears

and a few more cardboard boxes

This week things have finally settled down a bit. My husband and I are breathing and looking around at where we are. It is pretty exciting, and pretty new, and it's all alright. 

We have settled in a small, 1930s apartment on Lipscomb Street. So far we have met a few of our neighbors, Roy the maintenance man, and a small fluffy kitten who lives across the street (Mike saved him from a tree twice...we are beginning to feel he gets stuck on purpose). The walls in our apartment are painted a beautiful shade of grey that changes with the light. We are growing accustomed to the sounds outside... the dog across the street, the train, and the kids playing at the boys and girls club beside us. All these things are beginning to charm us. I have a feeling we will really like it here. 

Lipscomb Street is certainly different than anywhere I have ever lived in my whole life. This move marks a new phase for us, and I am excited to see who we will become, what we will see, what we will do, what will inspire us, and what we will experience. I hope to share some of these things with you.